What does it mean to truly love yourself? Over the years of writing on this blog, I’ve explored and pondered this question, offering various tips and ways to love yourself. It’s been 10 years since I started this blog, and as I’m growing up and becoming more of myself I’m learning so much about what this idea of loving yourself actually means.
My intention for this post is to impact the way you see yourself and others. Loving yourself isn’t just about treating yourself to nice things, but it encompasses every aspect of your life and how you interact with friends, co-workers, family, and the people you come in contact with on a daily basis. It’s also about finding balance between accepting who you are and working towards becoming a better version of yourself.
Hopefully you will spend some time really thinking about these 10 tips I offer here and implement them into your life. It would be so beautiful to see you realize your own power!
Say “No” to people and things that don’t align with your well-being. This will probably be the most challenging thing you do from this list. It’s easy enough to ignore toxic coworkers, acquaintances, or that mean girl you see around campus, but it’s a little bit harder when it’s family, loved ones, or long-time friends.
It’s stressful being around people who are negative. Even if they’re not negative towards you, they can be negative by their constant complaining or dumping all of their problems on you. You can try to show them how to look at life from a more positive point of view, but if they don’t want to change, then the best thing to do is to gradually separate yourself from them.
Don’t ever feel guilty for putting your happiness above other people’s happiness. How can you help other people if you don’t feel well yourself?
Let go of the need to be someone else’s idea of “perfect”. I always overhear young women talking about their favorite celebrities and claiming how “beautiful” and “perfect” they are.
“She has the perfect eyebrows.”
“She has such a perfect life.”
This is such bullshit. We each have this idea of what “perfect” is and it creates this illusion that we are not beautiful or perfect ourselves. I wish that parents would spend more time telling their children just how precious and beautiful they are, focusing on the qualities that make them unique and gifted.
Because of societal conditioning we believe that becoming perfect is outside of ourselves. The media has created this ideal of the perfect person, so we start to believe this is what we should look like to be accepted or be considered beautiful. The truth is, you ARE beautiful.
Rest. Just rest. I used to be the type of person who was constantly on the go. I worked full time, went to school, hung out with friends, and pretty much spread myself out too thin. I can’t imagine how I would even be able to hang if I had kids.
Many women put other people’s needs above their needs. I’ve seen it time and time again with my friends. They’re constantly running around trying to make everyone else happy and don’t give themselves time to just sit around, enjoy a cup of coffee, read a juicy book, and just do nothing. When you’re constantly going, going, going, you end up having a serious meltdown, crashing and burning before you even know what hit you.
Give yourself alone time. Continuing the idea of rest also includes giving time to yourself. This is not an option. We all need to decompress, rejuvenate, and have quiet time. Every day we are bombarded with the demands of other people, texts, social media notifications, etc. You need time away from all of that. Again, this is not an option. This is a must to keep yourself healthy and well-balanced.
Be open to receive. When someone compliments you, what do you say? Many times we try to downplay our beauty or don’t accept people’s positive feedback. Perhaps at a subconscious level you believe that you are not worthy of receiving kindness from people, or you’re not worthy to receive the abundance or happiness that you deserve.
You absolutely deserve all the good things that come your way.
Get to know yourself. What do you want to get out of life? What are your dreams? You might spend so much time trying to be like other people that you don’t even know who you are at your core. Don’t spend so much time worrying about what other people think of you that you don’t even know what you think of you.
You get to know yourself by spending time alone and reflecting on your life. You think about your likes and dislikes, how to be better as a person, learn more about what your purpose in life is, and how you want to contribute to the community.
Give yourself the gift of peace. What does a peaceful life mean to you? Have you ever genuinely felt complete peace in your life? Or do you allow circumstances to dictate how you should feel at any given moment?
For me, being at peace means not allowing other people to affect how I feel. If someone wants to start drama with me, I simply walk away. Peace is about focusing on my goals and priorities instead of worrying about what other people are doing.
Allow yourself to shine. As someone who tends to shy away from attention or the spotlight, this is something I have been working on. It’s OK to let your inner diva come out to play. Be frisky. Smile. Have fun.
“Don’t diminish yourself in any way. Dare to be all that you are.” –Leonard Jacobson
Be more loving towards others. I strongly believe in karma and what you put out in the world comes right back to you. You will receive more love if you give it to others. Every act of love – spoken or not – is a step towards your own personal healing and the healing of humanity as a whole.
Affirm your beauty. Every single day wake up, look in the mirror, and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Believe it with all your heart and soul. Know that you are a unique and special person who has something to contribute to this world. You have brains and beauty. You are charming and joyful.
I hope I’ve inspired you to take some time for yourself and to think more about who you are as a person. It’s taken me 20+ years to learn these lessons and be more accepting of my own beauty, but I hope it will take you less time.
Is there anything you would add to this list?